The woman responsible for facebook’s gender options was kicked off facebook for using the name she had on her nametag at work.
Facebook is a vital tool for community, especially for those of us who are marginalised. It withholds our access to friends and support in order to enforce their policy, and in so doing we are faced with a stark choice between a name we do not identify with and do not want to use, or being disconnected. If we make the choice to stay we find ourselves increasingly recognised by other people by that forced name.
By forcing us to change our names on the site, Facebook changes the names we are known by in real life — whether we like it or not.